So, I have been trying, and clearly failing, to discourage The Ginger Ninja (TGN) from pursuing a textual relationship with me. Normally the voice of positivity in all potential relationships (i use this term depressingly loosely) I cannot help but feel slightly burnt following what can only be described as the most surreal "ending" (if it can be called that) to my last liaison.
Enter: An Absolute Arsehole. Stage left.
AAA is a jack the lad, self proclaimed peter pan (his words, not mine) who i re-bumped into recently at a memorial service. Yes, i know how that sounds, Yes, ive seen Wedding Crashers, No, im not going to turn out like Will Ferrell in the last scene, ive heard it all before!! We got on. He was a friend of a friend, we had lots in common, and started emailing. All day. Every day. And texting in the evenings when he wasnt at work. How he remained employed is beyond me quite frankly. The banter flowed, and he soon asked when i was next in town to meet up. I cleared some time in my diary on my next trip, and arranged to meet up with him. SO. The ABC (Alcohol, banter and chemistry) were all flowing in glorious direct proportion until he walked me home to a friends house where I was staying. He lunged. I reciprocated. He tried to come in. I denied access - too many complications, the fact that it was not my house to invite him into being at the forefront. He ran. Literally! It was bizarre, i wish i could watch it again in slow-mo. He started inching away, then backing away and then he was out the gate, leaving me halfway up the garden path (that sounds a lot more racy than it was). Confused didnt begin to describe it. Really?! Do grown men really behave like that!?
The contact died down from him almost instantly until by Monday he was ignoring me point blank. I wasnt so much hurt as confused. We bumped into eachother a week later online - the joys of digital dating. We started chatting, he seemed normal. I decided to call him on it, being a big fan of blunt, and asked whether he usually tended to lunge and then ignore his prey, or whether i was just privileged. Privileged, he replied. OH YOU LITTLE SHIT!!! scenes of revenge (mine, not his) flashed through my mind. And the pathetic girly part in me thought "ok its fine, we're talking again. Maybe i just imagined the random silence". Note to self, DONT listen to the pathetic girly part in you, there is a reason you refer to her as the pathetic girly part. Anyway. I followed up the next day with a brief email asking him to confirm an event he was meant to be attending later in the month. Silence again. That evening, I was at a girlfriends house, catching up and having dinner. She was cooking, i was chatting and mindlessly scrolling through a certain social networking site. All of a sudden his name flashed up in my minifeed..."AAA wishes that girl he met at the memorial service a few weeks ago would fk off and leave him in peace!! JESUS WOMAN!!!!!" i.kid.you.not. I almost dropped my phone. WTF?!!?! i flashed hot and cold and thought in sheer mortification of the people who would read that and put two and two together. Luckily i had kept quiet on the broadcasting efforts - but still?! was he looking for a reaction?!! was he being serious?! I'll never know...it was utterly hilarious, and beyond mortifying, but it firmed up my mind as to where that particular liaison was headed...
So. Recently burnt from AAA, TGN enters the picture. The night after we kissed to be precise. Yup, it was one helluva weekend. TGN and I flirted all night at this evening, he seemed great and i was pretty sure the night would end the way i wanted it to...alas cindarella lost track of time and a hasty goodbye was said...a cheeky snog ensued as i disappeared while the clock struck midnight, shouted at by my friend as our taxi meter ticked away, briefly accommodating my teenage tonsil bashing. I was very smug, the proverbial cat who got the cream. (No sicko, not like that.) He seemed great, we had chemistry, and he hadnt tried to run a mile. Hurrah! He followed up the next day with the "i think youre great, but i probably shouldnt have done that, i recently started seeing someone.." oooohh gaddd. I should go into collaboration with Britters. Yes, i did it again. It baffles me, it really does, how i can end up in these situations. On the plus side i woke up from a text from the child asking me to dinner (not just to come "ova") - i declined. What a weekend.
But back to TGN. So he has continued to pursue things. He wont take no for an answer...we have hashed through the fact that i feel i am making the same mistakes again, and the fact that he still hasnt ended things 100% with this girl who he is "seeing" but literally never sees. I have tried to point out the irony of breaking up with her when she lives in his town to see me when i live at the opposite end of the country, but so far we both remain interested despite the logic-o-meter pointing FIRMLY at "RUN, RUN LIKE THE WIND" rather than the slightly more optimistic "DA DAAAAAA. CONGRATULATIONS YOU HAVE A WINNER. PROCEED TO PROCREATE WILDLY AND HAVE THIS MANS BABIES".
So, to ginge or not to ginge. That is the question.
Answers on a postcard please.
Yours in,
Hope.
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